So many questions... No answer!

There comes a time in your life when you question the purpose of your existence with so much agony that you feel like it's the end of the world for you... you feel like the moment you're going to close your eyes you can't open them because you've lost spark in them and because of that, you feel blind. why is this life so unfair? why can't you have all the happiness altogether? why this torment? where are your fantasy creatures who used to live in your daydreams that you thought can change your life? where are those princes who save their princesses from the blood thirsty monsters? why is this world demolishing each others' humanity like they don't have anything else to do? why is everyone so busy in their life that they're forgetting the importance of all the people around them? if that's how it's going to be... why am i not feeling the same way? why am i strung out on the same thoughts and same tenderness? why am i persistent on the thought of taking care of the people around me? I don't really want to feel anything... i want to be numb. i don't want to be the only person in this agonizing world having a heart of gold. take my heart, tear it down into little pieces and throw it out somewhere so i don't have to face the wickedness of this self seeking abusive demons. Take me away from my suffering... make me feel okay... make me feel okay.